The Karate Kid

Movie summary of The Karate Kid by Michael The Moviegoer.

THE KARATE KID (2010) = walk-out

“Chop Suey”

Disney used to theatrically re-release their classic films every seven years or so to attract a younger generation to them as new films. That was before home video made every film accessible to anyone at anytime. But even with DVDs in the marketplace, Warners theatrically re-released “The Exorcist” in 2000 for its 25th anniversary and had a box-office hit with it all over again, without needing to invest the mega-millions it takes to make a new movie.

So my question is why couldn’t the original 1984 “Karate Kid” simply have been re-released in theatres instead of this new chop-suey remake?

Some things you should know about this new “Karate Kid”. It’s nearly a half-hour longer than the original, which was already over 2 hours. It takes place in China, NOT in Los Angeles. To get the location moved to China, single-mom Taraji P. Henson must move from Detroit to Beijing for a job. You know our economy is bad when that happens. I wonder what Michael Moore would have to say about this!

Jaden Smith (son of Will) plays this new Karate Kid, but he’s only 11 years old! Shouldn’t this be called “The Karate Child”? Ralph Macchio was in his twenties, more than 10 years older than Smith, when he played the title role back in ’84.

So, with Smith barely into his tweens, what we the audience must witness in this new film is severe and brutal violence toward children. That’s right, the bad guy wants his fighter to “sweep the leg” of a child. I couldn’t be more disgusted with this film if I tried.

More appropriately, the movie should be called “The Kung Fu Kid” because there is absolutely no karate performed in the movie. Therefore, everyone should be able to ask for their money back on the basis of misleading advertising. Where’s the karate? There is none!

Other important differences between the two films, Noriyuki Pat Morita received an Oscar nomination for his performance in the original, Jackie Chan will not get anything for this. The director of the original is John G. Avildsen who previously won the Best Director Oscar for “Rocky”. The director of this new version is Harald Zwart who’s previous film was 2009’s “The Pink Panther 2”. Need I say more?

DVD Double Feature: This movie has inspired me to add the new rating of “walk-out” because I can’t, in all good conscience, assign a star-rating to a movie unless I stay and watch the whole thing. So, what did I do after walking out? I went home and watched the 1984 original again. You should do the same. It’s still a great movie.

Michael The Moviegoer